Coming off of vacation and then turning around to plan my daughter's birthday party has left me feeling rather... well, frustrated. My youngest turned two and somewhere a tiny switch was flipped and she became that terrible two-year-old. The classic, cliche, tantrum throwing bundle of flying legs and tiny fists. All my personal productivity has magically gone out the window!
The laundry is piling, the sink is full and I have been staring at an algae covered fish tank and cob webs on the windows for weeks. Unfortunately I don't see an end in sight. I am doing things everyday and all day and making no visible progress. This leaves me wondering if it will ever get better?
I have stared at those magazine covers in the check-out aisle. You know, the spotless and coordinating rooms. Perfection and Zen-like peace starring back at me. I wonder if Parents or Lifestyle ever thought to take a snapshot of the average Stay-at-Home Mom's house. Maybe for the frightening October edition?
As I struggle to get a handle on cleaning and organizing I can't help but mourn the loss of my personal time and exercise. Aren't those the first items to be sacrificed when moms are short on time? Well, it isn't doing my emotional health any favors. I need to get back to exercise, breathing and finding balance with myself as a priority.
I know my daughter will come out of this... eventually. My son is almost 4 and though he has moments, he has discovered Legos and is happy to play with them. Having small children can be both physically exhausting and emotionally draining. Oh, and don't get me started on having two still in diapers.
Yes, I know this time with my small children should be cherished. I know there is more to life than a "perfect" photo-ready house also. I just needed to vent my time struggles and sleep deprivation because I think people believe SAHM's have it so easy. This is the most challenging and frustrating job I have ever had. I am not perfect, but try to be my best. Some days I am just not sure I am doing that. Today I would settle for a pleasant looking front yard and a clean floor.
Wish me luck!