Back before my son was born I knew that I would nurse him. My biggest concern was how I would make that work with my job. Originally I was supposed to return after maternity leave, so I invested in a great Medela Pump. I guess fate had other plans for me, and I stayed home permanently for a variety of reasons. At 10 1/2 months due to various questions about my son's diet management and slow weight gain, I weaned him. It is embarrassing to admit how hard it was for me. He cried for just a few days but those were the most physically and emotionally painful for me. I had always hoped that he would self wean and it would be a natural progression we were both comfortable with. Forcing a child to wean was not my idea of natural. I know, I know... I made it 6 months. But, you see, I had hoped to nurse my son for at least a year.
My daughter's first birthday came and went and with all the other accomplishments and moments surrounding that big day, I almost forgot that I had hit my milestone. We nursed for a year! Yippee! I am happy to say she is healthy, happy and we are still sharing our special bond.
So how long do I plan to nurse? Well, I don't really have an agenda. If she decided that she wasn't interested in nursing anymore I would be sad, but I would know I had done all I could to start her out right. I feel like I am entering uncharted territory. She is mainly night nursing now. Once before bedtime, and then she usually comes in to bed with me early in the morning. I don't mind letting her nurse at will till we wake up. My days are free now from nursing bras and mid day stops to find nursing lounges while we are out. I have a feeling our nursing days are coming to an end.
Overall it is bittersweet. I did what I set out to do, and that year just flew by! But, as she cuts more teeth and the world of food opens up to her I know she doesn't need to nurse anymore. I just hope to never forget these last days in the "nursing chair" all snuggled up together as I listen to her breathing and stroke her hair. It is a beautiful bond with my children that I am just not ready to give up yet.
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